Balanitis and small spots on glans.

I am suffering from balanitis since one year! I have flare ups every now and then. I have tried clobetasol propionate and mupirocin. Also tried coconut oil, aloe vera etc but nothing seems to work. My partner is also sore all the time in her vagina and has a thick white discharge! Now since two days i have a few very small white spots on my glans accompanied by a flare up. This happened a week ago too! I applied clobetasol propionate and thy increased in number. They cleared up after two days and then i had a sexual contact with my partner unprotected! It happened again today! The flare up is painful and my foreskin is also swollen. My doctor asked me to get tested for an STI but i didn't get it done! What could be my problem?