Hiv phobia. I in turn infected my wife?

Dear sir , i am 39 male . Happily married and father 14yrs old kid. My story is at the age 14 i had my first kiss and i feard contracting hiv i lived with that fear till i was 24 and got married and my wife tested -ve and we had a baby ! Still i t was in my mind that it must be false negative (my physco mind )! 2008 i kissed a girl while drunk  again i was afraid over kiss. She 3yrs later tested negative for hiv during her surgery again i thot false negative ? She got tested again after a year still negative ! Now in year 2017 i met my school friend at reunion she gave me a kiss on lips my feared mind started playin tricks again what if she is positive for hiv ? And i got infected and i in turn infected my wife ? both my wife and the girl tested negative this year . but i am scared to test and still think im positive even i didnt did anething what to do please suggest i loosing sleep on this !