I have faced physical abuse. Wid me.

I am reminding those things again and again my life is hell i am not able to focus on anything. My moods change minute by minute.i cant control anger. I am feeling numb mentally. I need help i feel . Sometimes i feel like i should suicide. My mother tells me to forget everything but i just cant forget. I feel so so depressed. My heart beats increases when i think about that i feel like crying as well as shouting at the same time. I hate everybody at sometimes. I have became so rough and negative person. And i have faced that things 8-9 years in my childhood and after that my boyfriend also abused me physically in so worst way. But that 8-9 years whatever happened i cannot forget that.. i just cant.. after that i met someone so amazing he healed me a little bit but still i feel those all things again and again like thats again happening wid me..