I’m tired, weak, fatigue, heavy eyelids.

Thanks for your query I think your condition is about a chase against the tides. You can either give up your chase or go against the tide. If you give up the chase you will have nothing to look forward to good or bad. If you go against the tide you may face harm or benefit depending on how much you are able to control although this ability may or may not be within reach. It's like creating something destiny forced you to which will later be judged for its PERFECTION by everyone in question. Destiny may force imperfection or PERFECTION on you depending on your stars. The stars will fade away destiny will stop its force and be gone with time and your creation will be yours and will be there for everyone to see and judge like critics and admirers. Your critics may not be able to harm you your admirers may not be able to help you your creation may not be of any use to you but how much you tried for whatever you did will be there for the one who knows how to know and judge and reward you.