Narcissistic Relationship. Myself back?

I have in a relationship for 4 years. It was my first relationship and Before this relationship..I was confident,energetic,motivated,love my life,enjoy and happy with myself,Can talk with anyone,my intuition power is so much strong that I can read someone by seeing the person or talking to him via chat.During this relationship:-She proposed me ..I don't know her much but she is our class topper,straight forward and very fluent in English..I don't know Why My intuition didn't allow to trust this girl.But I went for the world most beautiful feelings.We continued 3 years of relationship. After the relationship:-This relationship completely changes me..I identity,My thoughts,I self esteem completely destroyed.I can't understand this still my closest friend ask me during fb conversation Are you Shibashish? I said Yes.Why are you asking.She said you are just talking like x(My gf).That's the time I realized I lost myself in the name of love...Can I get myself Back?I miss myself