Ocd and traumatic memory. Out of this!

I don't know whether I am a good person or bad person I get attracted towards girls but I have read an article that even watching a girl is also a sexul harassment while thinking about this I feel like committing sucide but only mistake I did in my life is I mastubrated now I m 25 years old I'm unemployed please who ever reading this message tell me whether I am a good person or pervert after reading this incident occurred in my real life I'm staying in college hostel with several boys it was a night time while sleeping I leave my hand inside my pant due to the reason of itching one of the captured and told after waking up in morning he showed the photo and quarreled with me why are you mastubrating in front of us and he fight with me to vacate the room I tried to commit sucide and  got admitted in hospital This what happen when I am studying first year even passing long time I cannot live it as past is past this incedent stuck in my mind please anyone help me to get out of this