Self harming thoughts. Thoughts.

I had a break up 2 months back. It's a 6 long years of relationship. Every now and then we had small petty arguments but we were doing well after a break in between for a year. He is unstable and he is not yet settled in his career. Never pressurized him for marriage, supported him through out in all his thick and thin. Out of no where he suddenly stops talking and doesn't even try to contact me. After 20 days he comes and tells that he has made a decision to step back and break up for my happiness, where he didn't even feel that my decision is important. And then he tells me to make a choice, and then he asks for a break to settle in his life, to sort his issues at home and make up his career, but instead  starts hanging out with frnds and least bothered about me and even forgot what for he has asked this break for. it hurts a lot when he is not even making efforts . Not even contacted me once in this 2 months,  I'm unable to get over and it hurts me a lot. Having sucidial thoughts.