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Depression and stress
Am married for 2 year, from day 1 I don't like my partner. Because of his behaviours, unhygienic habits, immaturity. We had a dispute recently and I decided to separate from him, but my family convinced me to be together.
After I returned to him, am unable to be normal and I start crying when he is around me and when am alone. Am unable to control my feeling. Even unable to allow him to touch me.
Suggest me to control my feelings
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Hello, it's indeed painful and adds to a lot of stress when things do not go pleasant. Kindly seek help from relationship counsellor.. Who shall guide you in terms of building a relationship. It's important to understand here that situations and individual's change provided we understand and take ownership of our own decisions.
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kindly consult me. or any psychologist
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Hi! Marriage to a person is a decision that needs to be carefully taken. If however you do get into a marriage with a person that you think is not meant for you then u have all the right to leave and create your own life with someone else. And this decision shud be yours and yours alone. Your family has sent you back to stay with him indicates that they’re probably afraid of the stigma of divorce or think that you should give another chance to him instead of taking a hurried decision. They of course want your best. However sometimes stigma of divorce makes them hope for the best by giving the marriage another chance. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. So take your own call and feel free to leave if push comes to shove. All the best
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Take your own decision.
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Kindly seek marriage Counselling help. Marriage is between 2 individuals that brings 2 families closer. If the relationship is toxic and unhealthy. You have to evaluate and understand things with clarity. We use psychometric process to ensure clarity and decision making in the counselle.
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Marriage counselling
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Book online or in clinic appointment: https://www.practo.com/bangalore/therapist/mrs-neha-ravichandran-psychologist?specialization=counselling%20psychologist
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Thanks for reaching out for help. From what you mention, you might need to have an assessment of where you stand in terms of how you feel about your spouse. I suggest you go for psychological counselling to talk about this first.
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Beyond that, you can also try couples counselling to see if the both of you can work around each other's issues and find common ground.
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Have you tried telling him about how you feel about him? without judgement or hurtful words? Try it and see how he reacts and then take a call.
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Counseling was best for it.
Before you have any boyfriend.
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Psychologist
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Yoga
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Sorry that you are in this situation. I can understand that how much burdensome the life becomes where mind says you are married and heart says you don't like him .
It is constant internal conflict .
But remember ,
What you are suffering today is not going to be forever .
Till Yesterday , you did not know that you may dislike your husband so badly today .
Similarly , you don't know if tomorrow this dislikeness will change.
So don't think negetive , rather let's try be assertive and talk out your feelings .
He is your husband , the most important person of your life .
You should be able to tell him in a respectful way that you want to get more involved in marriage but because of certain habits or behaviors it is not happening .
Is there a way these barriers can change?
Be Assertive
Respectful
Show your willingness to accept the situation if it csn change a little.
Our feelings are attached with our mind .
The way you think your feelings develop that way .
Your husband's habits are unhygienic that us one part , try to identify if there is something that can connect you with him .
Next Steps
Assertive Communication
Acceptance of current situation .
Do deep breathing and relaxation.
Read self help books .
Spend some time together.
See which topic you both can connect.
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Remember , these feelings will change , they aren't permanent .
Marriage counseling will definitely help .
A good therapist will help you to be more balanced with your emotions and also guide you how you can deal with this situation.
goodluck.
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Hi. The way your environment (your husband) is behaving, it's triggering something within you coming from the past. Your outer environment is the reflection of your inner and inner dynamics are the reflection of your outer world. You need to turn within and work on your triggers. There are always reasons- root causes behind your emotional response. The present behaviour is the effect. However you may not be cognitively aware. Once you make peace with your emotions, you can handle, accept your husband better and also when you change, he will change too. If not, you have a choice of whatever you want but you need to give some time.
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Please seek help of an experienced clinical psychologist as soon as possible who can help you effectively. You can manage emotions well, however it's a process.
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Give time to your self to work on your triggers. You being mentally, emotionally and beheviouarally sound is first priority. Then only you can handle other things. Don't be in a hurry to take any decisions. In any intense emotional state, your logical mind shuts down. That's not the right time to take any decision. Decisions need to be taken in a calm, balanced state.
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Hi,
It seems that there are lot of negative feelings and in marriage understanding, love and respect is ver important but I would like to know more information.
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Consult me on Practo
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Hi
I can’t imagine how helpless and frustrating that must be for u. Thanks for reaching out.
Sadly there is no way to control our feelings but yes we can explore and see what thoughts disturb u most. U said he is immature and unhygienic. Have u tried speaking to him regarding these habits ? Communicating to him abt what u don’t like abt him might help him understand and make things better perhaps ?
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Pls connect for a online session if possible. I would like to understand from u what u have been facing
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Ms. Kajol Birawat
Counselling Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hey! Thanks for coming out with this! It definitely seems like you're going through a difficult time. I suggest that you start communicating with your partner regarding the factors causing a conflict in your relationship. While this might seem like a possibly difficult, and even overwhelming conversation, it is important to consider and understand your partner's perspective too.
You also mentioned that you find yourself crying and distressed when you are around him. This could indicate that your mental health needs to be addressed on an individual level, too.
If you are finding it hard to communicate with him, it is also important to take care of yourself as an individual person in the relationship. You can use various self care techniques to induce calmness, relaxation and lesser stress. This will also allow you to express yourself in a healthier manner. You can try to journal, by writing down your emotions and thoughts. Also try meditating or exercising for around 30 minutes everyday. This will help you channelise your energy in a more appropriate manner, that will allow catharsis and relaxation. When you feel extremely overwhelmed, try breathing techniques. For example, try breathing in for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 7 seconds and breathing out for 8 seconds. Continue this till you feel more calm and relaxed. This can also help you communicate with your partner with a more calm and relaxed disposition.
Please consider going for therapy to encourage better healing. I suggest that you also go for marital counselling, along with your partner to address the concerns you have in your relationship.
Next Steps
Please start applying the self care strategies mentioned, and also consider going for therapy. You can book a session with us at https://heartitout.in/
Take care!
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Ms. Juhi Parashar
Psychologist
11 yrs exp
Gurgaon
Do what your heart says
Take couple therapy
Or reach out first
Consult with me or any psychologist for therapy and counseling online
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Dr. Mustafa Mun (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Mumbai
There is always a way to make things work.
However not at the cost of your emotional health
Kindly meet a Family Counsellor / Psychologist at the earliest.
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Ms. Sakshi Danwar
Counselling Psychologist
9 yrs exp
Delhi
It sounds like you are going through a very tough time n it's really hard to be with a person whom you don't like or relate to. As marriage is a big part of life & unsatisfied marriage can be trauma for someone as you are unable to be normal. In this scenario, I would suggest you to seek support of a professional psychotherapist or Psychologist where you can discuss your issues in detail, get aware about your unknown patterns , factors or negative beliefs which could be influencing you unknowingly, learn how to deal with your emotions, thoughts & feelings , new ways to resolve your issues & gain insights. My best wishes for you.
Thanks,
Sakshi Danwar
Psychotherapist & clinical Hypnotherapist
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Ms. Shrradha Sidhwani
Clinical Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Mumbai
Start marital counselling. Call us on 26431137
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