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Don't know how to deal with such things
I feel negative around my parents . I love my parents too but I feel anxious around them . They are the quiet ones and converse very less with each other . Every thing about them irritates me . My father is 65+ and is all the time wearing headphones and watching YouTube . My mother is busy in herself too . Whenever they come to meet us ( Us means me , my hubby and my son ) , I feel negative and keep wishing for them to leave soon . I don't know why this happens when I am the one who calls them to stay with us for a month or so .
My parents have been quite liberal through my childhood and have stood for me always in my good as well as bad , for that I love and respect them but for whole of my childhood they fought with each other a lot , which used to cause me anxiety when I was small . When I got married I was super relieved as I would no longer be living with them . I feel guilty about this and don't know how to deal with this guilt .
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Instead of psychologist and counselling perspective am sharing an traditional methodology given in our vedas and Vedic scriptures.
Ganesh ji was always close to mother and fought with his father for the respect of word given to mother.
Yama was always close to father and fought with his mother for the reality and truth he brought infront of his father.
Similarly we have examplea of why we get negativity for both father and mother which in Vedic is about going far away and we also have positive scenarios for both father and mother in which the family becomes close knit.
Mathematically they are patterns and your scenarios in life has to fall among any of the four patterns and each pattern understanding is where your solution lies.
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You are going through a phase and support shall aide you and your family.
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Relationship resolution aides in improving all areas of relationship.
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Seek professional help to deal with the trauma
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Whatever happened in your past would have created trauma within you. So whenever you see them your brain might reflects the same irritation which has happened in your childhood or before marriage. Don't worry , a therapist would help you change your negative thoughts pattern. CBT would suit you better coz all that you have is negative thoughts which make you feel irritated and make you think to move away from Them.
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Consult a Counseling Psychologist
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It seems to be social Anxiety which might affect familial relations too.
It can also be due to childhood memories. Need to rule out.
It can be well treated with counseling sessions and homeopathic medicine if required.
You need an expert Psychologist who is a good homeopathic physician.
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I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist for the last 17 years. you can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
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Hi,
We understand it could be frustrating to be with such thoughts. What our mind says is not always true. Learn the way of rational thinking through counselling. also hypnotherapy will help to clear out stuck thoughts in your subconscious mind & ease the flow of positivity.
Take care
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Visit for more details : https://manpravah.com/
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Hi
Always remember if you are unable to change others pattern (which no one can) then change your responses rather than punishing youself without any substantial cause.
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Work on your own responses rather than focusing on their without getting impatient.
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Start focusing on your own wellbeing and if you are unable to process it then connect with Experts for further discussion.
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Hi,You cannot change others behaviour unless they want to have a change.lnstead of feeling guilty about not being able to help them you should share your feelings with your parents.You cannot have control over others.Consult a psychologist for professional help
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
You might get some clarity by discussing with a therapist..
Sometimes, it could be some siily reason too... Yet that information about them need to be spoken and vented out to get rid of those emotional baggages..
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Consult a psychological Counselor for a therapy..
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Ms. Simran Sharma
Psychologist
1 yrs exp
Kolkata
It's understandable that the dynamics with your parents trigger complex emotions. To navigate this, consider focusing on regulating your own emotions. Reflect on specific situations that trigger negativity and work on cultivating a more balanced perspective. Therapy could be a helpful space to explore these feelings, understand their roots, and develop coping mechanisms. By addressing these emotions, you may find a more positive and fulfilling connection with your parents.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Based on what you have shared above I believe your presenting issues are a mix of your childhood trauma (witnessing parental-marital discord) and your immediate stressors (career, marriage, kid, dreams, expectations from self & significant others, etc.).
You are experiencing a dichotomy of what you witnessed as a child in terms of parenting, marriage, child rearing, etc., in context to what you are able to create now as an adult.
You are experiencing a mix of emotions which are directed towards your parents at a superficial level but actually a deeper reflection of how you felt as a child and how you feeling now as an adult. This contrast along with your immediate stressors are making you feel so low.
These kind of issues typically take 1-2 years of weekly counselling sessions to address from the root. Your immediate symptoms will get recovered within 3-4 months of weekly counselling but if you leave the process of therapy in-between just because the symptoms have got better than they are very likely to go latent and reappear later in a worse condition. I always recommend treating issues from the root and not just from the surface.
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Consult a Psychologist.
CBT along with Lifestyle Changes and Interpersonal Guidance and Counselling is required.
Psychoanalysis may help identifying your core issues and addressing them from the root.
CBT may help is correcting your presenting issues.
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Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
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Dr. Priyanka (PhD)
Clinical Psychologist
10 yrs exp
Delhi
Frequent fights of parents impacts a lot on their children. It can create childhood trauma too which further cause negative thoughts towards them.
Because they were fighting during your childhood so now this is their escape mechanism to each other that your father remain busy on headphone and your mother keeps herself busy so that they can stay away from each other.
Frequent fights between couples also create a negative environment for both of them and both equally impacted from this, and may be they are going through mental health issues created by that relationship and due to that they couldn’t talk too much with each other.
That also traumatised you and childhood traumas often come with anxiety symptoms. So, don’t feel guilty about this because these are your thoughts due to that trauma and you can work on them,
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Work on yourself, try mindfulness and create acceptance
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