Don't know what to do. Is understandin?

​Hi I m 30 years old I m working in Human resource department of an IT firm in Pune. Recently I started feeling that m not the normal girl. I had dreams but due to financial crunches none of them I could achieve. Since few weeks I started searching about my symptoms which I observed were but weird, n then I came to know that these are leading me towards depression. I have TMJ problem, which is that I have gap in my jaw joint part 2 years since childhood I had headache n nervousness, shyness problem.I don't remember things,in childhood I had faced this problem i use to study hard n then also use to not score good a I could not remember my answers,now I could relate ask those things I was facing since childhood.I m opposite to what I wanted to be. I wanted to be fearless,but I m very scared of everything.​There is lot of pain in my head, my body pains a lot I don't feel I getting up in morning just feel like up lie down n do nothing, I could not sleep past a year,​No one is understandin