Frustration, depression and anger. Plz!

Suffering from anger and depression all time. I have lost interest in my day to day activity. I can't focus on my work nor my well being. Having suicidal thoughts to get rid of the sadness and frustration. But I think about my parents and control myself. Confused and frustrated about marriage decisions. Parents are forcing for arranged marriage and partner wants to get married to me but my parents aren't agreeing. On top of that since once month my bf w ants time to make everything alright so as my parents can agree for him, but because of that he is ignoring me now. He wants to make himself suffer and miss me but I think opposite is happening because m the one who is suffering here and I don't know if anything affecting him even or not. I miss him but i hate myself for missing him when i feel that he is not affected. He says that he is and asks me to understand everything and sort out all the problems. On top of that my parents are also sad and m the reason for their sadness. help plz