I feel alone and haunted. So confused.

Lack of confidence,nothing seems interesting to me , even i smile hardly on any jokes and any comic scene it gives me tension sometimes ,i dont like enjoying parties and any function whenever i attend i feel alone and i rarely talk to anyone . During functions i feel like these things are not good for me ,on the other when i notice others enjoying i feel like why i am so different .i don't feel connected to anyone even including my family members .i have so many things which i don't like about me like overreacting , self-centredness, and criticizing and generalising anything without knowing it and i feel jealous many times. I don't know what i want to be in my life .what is the aim of my life .am so confused . I don't have good relation with anybody around me i always keep distance with everybody who wants to stay connected