Severe uncontrollable anger. My anger?

I am a mother of two year old daughter and lives in a joint family. prior to my wedding, i had been an independent girl but before i could set off my career, i was married during my internship. i am struggling with my dentistry career and i find it difficult to cope with the expectations of my in-laws. they want me to live by the rules of their house and if sometimes i go against their wishes, they stop talking to me and create a negative environment which makes me feel sick and i crave to move out and live separately and independently which i understand isn't possible. this ultimately builds anger and frustration inside me and i shout too much on my little daughter. sometimes i lose my control so much that i am about to hit her which makes me feel bad later. i don't know how i can control my anger? please help me!