Suicidal thoughts every day. Apart.

When I was 14 or 15 yr old I don't know how old but I was sexually assaulted by my friends.First My friend who is 1 years younger than me sexually assaulted me at least for 6 months but at that time I was not known what is good touch and bad touch. He used to rub his body against me and said we will play a game but never tell about these to anyone So I said ok.he not only sexually assaulted but raped me. It took me a year to get to know that I was sexually assaulted as a boy. During this time I also got sexually assaulted by friend who was 5 years Elder than me and by my own school friend on two different occasions. I was devastated to be sexually assaulted. But I kept my feelings to myself and never told about these to anyone. Also acted as Nothing happened with me infront of friends. Now I am going through flashbacks and suicidal thoughts every day and my parents are now thinking about my marriage. Please help I don't want to go.i don't want to tear my family apart.