Feeling very down. Do you suggest i do?

Hi, I understand your problem can be stressing you out especially when you feel your parents might not agree with your opinion of visiting a professional for an opinion. What I appreciate about you is that you have recognized your symptoms correctly and in time and this shows you have an intellectual insight to your problem. You should definitely sit with your parents and try explaining them calmly and systematically about your mental state. You can start by trying to explain that you find it difficult to focus on your books and that a psychiatrist could help you on those lines. Once they agree, the psychiatrist will do the job of providing more awareness about your problem and you could start with medications as well as counseling sessions. You should definitely not live with the symptoms especially when they are as severe as suicidal ideations. Please do not try to harmful yourself, there is a curable solution to your problem. I hope this gives you some immediate help and you get to visit a professional asap. Don't be scared of addressing the elephant in the room just because you think people won't understand you. It's important to be concerned for your own health and communicate it thoroughly to the concerned people.