How to become a secure person? Easier.

I understand your predicament and would like to make a few suggestions that could help. One way to look at jealousy is - jealousy is nothing but disguised admiration. Seeking validation from others to feel worthy enough and failing in the process makes you take a good look at something you might have been ignoring in the past - seeing yourself for who you truly are, your strengths, your priorities, what really matters to you, what your aspirations are and how you could achieve them. Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? What are those facts on the basis of which you feel not worthy enough? Who are the people who really matter to you - who unconditionally accept you the way you are - love you and respect you, no matter what? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of the kind of feedback you received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. Here are a few suggestions that could help you take care of your psychological well being, have clarity about what you truly wish to accomplish in life and realize your aspirations. You will also be able to manage your emotions better. Awareness of how the mind works and how thoughts are generated will help you deal with them and thereby overcome the challenges you are facing right now. Today the mind is fixated on something. Tomorrow it might be on another topic/event/person. The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Ii always needs something to hold on to. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future. This keeps alternating. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that the Mind and 'Now' can never coexist. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. Having negative thoughts is something that plagues everybody from time to time. Trust me, even if everything was perfect, we may still find some shortcomings somewhere and brood about it. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, just bring your focus back to your breath and take a few relaxing breaths. Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Ask yourself : Where would I like to see myself ten years from now? What should I do today to reach there ten years from now? What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail? What would I do if I weren't afraid? No matter how impossible the answers might seem, I want you to know that you can make them possible. Take the first step. The rest will follow. Take ownership of every moment, take responsibility for it and confidently work towards your dreams and aspirations. One day you will thank these dark moments for being the fuel for your success. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Here are a few links that could be helpful : https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41615 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41639 Step One https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41640 Step Two https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41641 Step Three https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41645 Step Four Take care.