Narcissistic personality and a failure.

I am strong candidate for narcissistic personality disorder. I hve been a good person to my mum for the first 20 years of my life. Post puberty at the age of 16 and 17 I developed a self image and screwed up in education developed a massive insecurity and since then I have been plunging into fits of anger and despair. The last 7 years have been turned me into a bad person and has adversely affected my relationship with my mum and she had also gotten sick. I ws a genuinely good person before but since 16-17 success has evaded me and I haven't been in a job since then. I hve realised that all this anger and restraint might be due to my inflated self image of myself and constant need for admiration through success & praise which comes thru earning money. I hve been a bad person ,my mom deserves a better how can I not go into these extreme mood swings and not blame her for my failures (bcos she screwed up) I keep blaming her. Please help me for her as she's 65 now and I fear for her health