Severe depression and anxiety. Habits.

I have these thoughts about killing myself for like the past few years but i'm unable to do so because i know that'll hurt my family. I've been overeating and over sleeping for the past 4-5 months and i've gained like 10 kgs. I have thyroid(family heredity) and asthma (since childhood) but well that doesn't matter. I took these depression tests online cuz i knew i have to do something. And it showed severe depression and anxiety issues everywhere. I'm quite normal around people but in my brain all these weird thoughts about not knowing what to do in life and letting my parents down and not achieving what i want to achieve in life keep scaring me. Everytime i meet a person i compare myself to them and keep cursing myself for not being good at anything.I love yo draw. I wanted to be a designer but my parents sent me for engineering(normal indian kid case). I just want something to keep these thoughts away and like stop my eating and sleeping habits.